Hey loves,

So you’re doing everything right, from your training to your food to even relaxation and stress relief. Yet there it is, the belly or pooch. You ask yourself out of sheer frustration “what am I doing wrong?” The truth is, probably nothing.

Almost every woman I know has one area she’s at war with, even the ones you think are genetically blessed.

It is mostly a construct of our psyches, bought on by years of conditioning and brainwashing that causes us to hate our bodies to such an extent.

The Illusion of “Overall Leanness”

We assess our bodies in fragments. We see a woman’s abs as its own entity, her glutes as central as well. We tend to zoom into that one area and ignore the rest.

Instagram and Tiktok trains us to crop, pose and distort reality. This is all for the sake of looking aesthetic, lean or even curvy (the “right kind”).

You can be 85% lean and still emotionally feel “not lean” if your nervous system fixates on the remaining 15%.

Your Body Chooses Where Fat Lives

Fat distribution is governed by our genetics, hormones and nervous system. We simply can’t decide where our bodies store fat. Furthermore, willpower, workout splits and ab circuits won’t help us with our fat storage either.

Our biological blueprint contains both nature vs nurture elements. We can enhance our appearance in certain areas via exercise but we cannot alter something like where our fat is stored.

Even if that fat is the “last remainder of fat” stored on our bellies. Simply, you don’t diet fat off your body, your body decides where it feels safe enough to release it.

The Nervous System & Safety

Our bodies innately seek safety. It seeks it via fat storage and this is something that can truly bother us. There is a reason why bodies that undergo chronic stress store the most fat and it comes down to our evolutionary function.

The body essentially acts as a safety-seeking system. Fat serves as protection instead of aesthetics. This means that the body will do what it takes to do its job correctly rather than attune to our desires and wishes for it.

Experiencing chronic stress will lead to fat retention. High levels of cortisol lead to fat storage as a survival strategy for our bodies. Because our bodies recognize us as being in danger or in “fight or flight” mode, it holds onto fat for protection.

The best way to get out of survival mode is to be a in a relaxed state especially one where our parasympathetic system is calm.

Essentially, a disregulated nervous system does not care about your waistline. It cares about keeping energy stored.

Hormones & Femininity

We, as women, typically store fat in our hips, thighs and glutes. This is due to our estrogen levels. Our lower bellies serve as reproductive production.

Due to our bodies’ intelligence and intuition, our bodies are designed to store more fat than men.

The very fat that we are taught to hate is often the same tissue that signals health, fertility, and hormonal function.

All we have to do is connect to its intelligence and lean into our own wisdom and intuition.

The Instagram Lie: Spot Reduction & Performative Fitness

We are often presented with the message of growing our glutes and shrinking our waist at the same time. Waist trainers and other fitness products are shown to us demonstrating their abilities to magically shrink one part of our bodies while the others are largely intact and even curvy/inflated.

We need to see beyond the fake before and after pictures and be critical consumers of fitness content.

Simply, most fitness content is built to sell hope, not to explain physiology.

Spot reduction is impossible because fat loss is systemic, it happens in the way your genetics will allow it. Growing muscles versus losing fat are two entirely different processes, we cannot mix them up in our minds.

What Actually Changes “That One Area”

What is the truth? What can we actually do to change that target or stubborn area of fat?

1. Time

We need to be in a gentle calorie deficit for long enough.

2. Strength Training

Strength training creates the best hormonal environment for our bodies to adapt into looking their best.

3. NEAT

Walking, daily movement and a healthy/relaxed lifestyle can give us our ideal bodies and allow that remainder of fat to dissipate.

This is especially true for high cortisol levels, once the body is calm enough, belly fat will just melt off.

4. Stress & Sleep

Reducing stress and sleeping enough are fundamental steps towards achieving our dream bodies. We need to alert our bodies that it’s safe to exist for the stubborn fat to be released.

Have it ingrained in your minds that your bodies release fat when it feels safe, not when it feels punished.

Psychological Traps

It is easy for us to hyper fixate on a certain body part, wishing it was smaller, slimmer or even bigger. Check out my post on body image for when it goes too far (into ocd/body dysmorphia).

It is also quite easy for us to be blind to our own progress, often ignoring the steps we have taken forward and instead comparing ourselves to more accomplished or experienced individuals.

Never feeling “done” and having an endless moving goalpost is something many of us experience daily and it all comes down to clapping for yourself.

Bringing light, love, self-compassion into the fitness space is a gift and it surely is God’s will so it doesn’t turn disordered, fixated and dark.

Some women don’t want fat loss. They want relief from the feeling that their body is always slightly wrong.

The Last 5–10%

To lose the final stubborn fat often requires:

• Extreme leanness
• Hormonal trade-offs
• Food preoccupation
• Mental fatigue

Are you willing to go through that if you aren’t a professional? Sometimes your body isn’t resisting, it’s negotiating.

Redefining “Lean Enough”

Finally, your body is not a problem to solve. It’s a system to regulate where strength is the foundation and regulation is the real glow-up.

The goal was never to erase every soft part of yourself. The goal was to build a body that feels safe, strong, and sustainable to live inside.

I hope that you enjoyed this blog post on Why You’re Lean Everywhere Except One Place, please let me know what you thought about it in the comments section below!